Prologue
I was once the number one ranked cross country runner in Minnesota but promise and potential will only get an athlete so far. My story, my past is full of regrets and heartache; from the could-have-beens to the should-have-beens and depression which was the glue that tied it all together. This big gooey mess has resided in the pit of my soul for fifteen+ years now and it is time to let it go.
I am really not quite sure what it was about running in high school I didn’t like. I was fast, really fast and I did like racing but I hated training. 4:20 miles were not uncommon and sub-2 minute 800 meter races were common place. I was a fantastic cross country runner and could destroy every course and every runner I stepped up against. So why did I hate training? Why did I not do enough during my off seasons and summers to get better, be better? Why did depression, low self-esteem and worth rear their ugly heads during my teenage years? Running should have counteracted those negatives; well you would have thought anyways. But it didn’t and running became something to do because I HAD to and not necessarily something I wanted to do.
Injury, fear, low confidence in myself and a misplaced identity set up a heartache of a senior year race season and one that to this day I still have a tough time thinking about.
Every couple of days and in the next few posts I hope to chronicle this purging, if you will, of my soul in an attempt to relinquish this hold that fear has bound me with and move forward with my goals. I hope that you will read my story and hit me back with some feedback and comments too.
Till next time.
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